There’s one thing robbing you of your future, and it’s your past. It’s the only thing—in terms of you—that can rob you of your future. Even if it was someone else that caused you pain, or put you down, it’s still your hanging on to what happened, or what they said, that keeps you from living the life your heart desires.

There’s no doubt that what happened to you was painful. There’s no denying that its impact was severe enough to shape you into the person you’ve become. The last thing I want to do is minimize your past, but we need to get one thing clear: sympathy will get you nowhere!

You Don’t Need Sympathy

If everyone caters to your pain, they’ll only help you remain in your past. If everyone feels so sorry for you that they never tell you what you need to hear, or offer you challenges that might help, then it’s guaranteed you’ll remain exactly as you are.

You don’t need any more sympathy. It won’t help you. The only thing you need is to get involved in personal development, which is the only way to break the chains of the past off your mind and take back your future.

Self-Help vs Personal Development

I don’t like the term “self-help,” because I feel it limits the real process that’s needed to truly help people get over their past, get out of their ruts, and get their lives back on track. For most people, they need more than “help” to get through a particular problem or bad season. What people need is a commitment to “personal development.”

Personal development is when you realize that you have an obligation to yourself to maximize all that you are, and all that you can do, for a purpose greater than yourself. It’s when you stop “letting life happen” and you start “making life happen” in every area. It’s when you move from fatalism to determination.

Self-help? Sure you need to help yourself, but that term only identifies who’s doing the work. Self-help says nothing about the total transformation of thinking and action you must undergo in order to live the life you were intended to live.

How to Get Over Your Past

The foundation of personal development is that you can’t conquer the future if your ass is in the past. No matter what happened to you growing up; no matter what transpired in your previous relationships, you have to bury the dead and move on. And until you understand how your future is being robbed by the pain of your past, you’ll never make the commitment to personal development.

Personal development is HOW you get over your past, because personal development is when you determine what your future will be like, and what you’ll be like in your future. If your past determines what your future will be like, and what you’ll be like in your future, then there’s nothing left for you to do. Just leave your life on autopilot and go wherever the winds take you.

But be sure to bring plenty of Kleenex with you, because you’ll still be crying over your past until the day you die!


Your Life is Like a Set of Scales

Imagine your life like a set of scales where you’re weighing your past against your future. If you experienced a lot of pain in your past, one side of your scale is much heavier than the other. The side without any weight is your future, and you’re waiting for someone else to throw some weight on it.

Guess what? They won’t!

Those who caused you pain cannot put weight on the side of the scale that needs it—your future. The only person that can put weight on that side is you.

In other words, the pain of your past continually occupies your mind, so you’re not using your mind to plan a better future. The pain of your past drains your emotional energy, so have less to give to others. All of that hurt distorted your image of yourself, so you live and act like a victim instead of a victor.

And the anger and the bitterness consumes your creative power from helping you create a better future for yourself.

Move from “Getting By” to Life Domination

The only to get over your past is to realize that no one can put weight on the other side of the scale but you. And the only way to put weight on the other side of the scale is to commit yourself to personal development.

But, there’s one more misconception that’s hindering you...

You think that doing something like following Metal Motivation on Facebook IS a commitment to personal development. Not quite! That’s like saying I’ll live the rest of my life on vending machine snacks and drinking from a water fountain. My Facebook page is only filled with “snacks and sips!”

You have to move past “snacks and sips” and eat the full meal. You have to get beyond just finding enough motivation to keep tolerating a life that you hate and move into life domination. To do that requires a complete overhaul of the way you see yourself and the world.

Either invest in yourself, or sit there and keep bleeding. Either take back your future, or keep reliving your past. It’s your choice. I left my past where it belongs—behind me! My wish is that you’d join in me in creating a better future for ourselves. Will you?


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C. J. Ortiz
C. J. Ortiz

My mission is to help equip people to maximize their resources for a purpose greater than themselves. That's what my own mentors and teachers have done for me, and I'm paying it forward. Life can be merciless, and the world can be a messed up place, so what's needed is a stronger people that can both endure and overcome in life. My motto is, "In whatever you do, don't suck! Metal up!"

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    2 replies to "Bury the Dead: Creating Your Future by Leaving the Pain of Your Past"

    • Sandra Rytky

      thank you this was very helpful

    • C. J. - The Metal Motivator

      You’re welcome, Sandra

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